Two months from now, I will be a college graduate.
I like to be able to visualize what life has in store for me, at least for the year ahead. For almost all of my life, I have been able to do that.
School. Christmas break. More school. Spring break. More school. Summer vacation. Repeat.
Life has followed that pattern for seventeen years.
And now, I know what the next two months will look like. And then I will fly to Barcelona, travel around Europe for a month with a wonderful friend, and have many adventure-filled days. But then I will come home, and the entire rest of my life is a blank canvas after that. And for some reason, that doesn't scare me. Maybe it's because every time my life has reached a point of transition, almost always the things that followed the change were better than the things happening before. I don't know if that will be the case this time, but I have to hope that it will.
I've been reading the book Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist, and feel like some of the passages were written specifically for me to read right at this moment. In particular:
“If you dig in and fight the changes, they will smash you to bits. They’ll hold you under, drag you across the rough sand, scare and confuse you. But if you find it within yourself, in the wildest of seasons, just for a moment, to trust in the goodness of God, who made it all and holds it all together, you’ll find yourself drawn along to a whole new place, and there’s truly nothing sweeter. Unclench your fists, unlock your knees and also the door to your heart, take a deep breath, and begin to swim. Begin to let the waves do their work in you.”
So for now, if anyone is wondering, that is my plan.